Boyd and Floyd
They are Boyd Hilton, television and review editor of Heat magazine, and Nigel Floyd, film critic for Time Out magazine (and member of the pharisaic cadre).
After Basic Instinct 2 was trashed by everyone except himself, Nigel and the Good Lady Professor Her Indoors, Mark revealed that someone called Jonathan Ritter had once said that Mark and Nigel write their reviews by committee. Mark protested that this wasn't true, it was simply that "we're right and everyone else is wrong." Indeed, Nigel once told Mark off for stealing his jokes about 10,000 BC, only for Mark to protest that he hadn't even read Nigel's review - it was just that it was impossible to watch that film without thinking about Apocalypto, I Was A Teenage Caveman and Rod Hull, and further investigation by Mark revealed that pretty much every reviewer had come to exactly the same conclusion.