Kermodian rant

Kermodian: "A style of criticism that involves both wit and erudition, but also a certain world-weary curmudgeonliness" - Ian Brooks, managing editor of Collins Dictionaries and Thesauruses

Mark Kermode has, upon times, become more than usually agitated by what he sees as the particularly poor qualities of a film. When this happens it has become known as a Kermodian rant. Simon Mayo has observed that for a film to incur a full blown Kermodian Rant there has to be a "secondary infection", whereby the film is not only exhibiting poor quality, but is also offensive in some way to the Old Trot.

The phrase has its origins in a long argument debate between Mark and Simon about the word "Lacanian" in Basic Instinct 2 (in the words of David Morrissey, "there is one joke in Basic Instinct 2 - and I think you have killed it.") It was in response to this that a listener (Joe in Leeds) suggested that someone critiquing the arts in a gloriously lengthy rant should be described as Kermodian. Thus, an adjective was born.

The very next week, Ian Brooks, managing editor of Collins Dictionaries and Thesauruses, appeared on the programme to assess how likely the word "Kermodian" might appear on his books' pages. (The moment he introduced himself, he was immediately contradicted by both the Good Doctors, who felt it should be Thesauri.)

Mr Brooks suggested Kermodian (rather that "Kermodesque") because people stress the second syllable, although Mark insisted that it should be the first - but that people find it hilarious to emphasise the second because that makes Mark's name sounds like a portable toilet.

Kermodian has been used in the Northern Ireland assembly.

Films that produced notable rants, or are otherwise detested by Mark even many years after release, have been:

• The Accidental Husband (2008)

• Angels and Demons (2009)

• August Rush (2007)

• The Back Up Plan (2010)

• Babel (2006)

• Boxing Helena (1993)

• Breaking The Waves (1996)

• Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan (2006)

• The Bounty Hunter (2010)

• Bride Wars (2009)

• Captivity (2007)

• Cashback (2006)

• Charles Dickens's England (2009)

• CHiPS (2017)

• Closer (2004)

• College Road Trip (2008)

• Couples Retreat (2009)

• Daddy Day Camp (2007)

• The Da Vinci Code (2006) (TURN THE LIGHTS ON)

• Dance Flick (2009)

• Date Movie (2005)

• Death Proof (2007)

• Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)

• The Devil Inside (2012)

• The Devil's Rejects (2005)

• Dinner For Schmucks (2010)

• Dirty Grandpa (2016)

• Dirty Sanchez: The Movie (2006)

• Disaster Movie (2008)

• DOA: Dead Or Alive (2006)

• Domino (2005)

• Doom (2005)

• The Dukes Of Hazzard (2005)

• Eat Pray Love (2010)

• The Emoji Movie (2017)

• Entourage (2015)

• The Family Stone (2005)

• Film Socialisme (2010)

• Franklyn (2009)

• Fred Claus (2007)

• Fred The Movie (2010)

• The Future (2011)

• Gamer (2009)

• Geostorm (2017)

• Good Luck Chuck (2007)

• A Good Year (2006)

• Green Street (or Green Street Hooligans) (2005)

• The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2006)

• The Holiday (2006)

• Horrible Bosses 2 (2014)

• Hostel 2 (2007)

• The Hottie And The Nottie (2008)

• The House Bunny (2008)

• In Her Shoe (2005)

• John Carter Of Mars (2012)

• Keith Lemon (or Keith Lemon: The Film) (2012)

• Killers (2010)

• Lady In The Water (2006)

• The Lake House (2006)

• Last Days (2005)

• The Last Kiss (2006)

• Leapy Ear (2010)

• Little Man (2006)

• Love Happens (2009)

• Love's Kitchen (2011)

• Made Of Honor (2008)

• Margot At The Wedding (2008)

• Marley And Me (2008)

• Meet The Spartans (2008)

• Movie 43 (2013)

• Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie (2014)

• My Life In Ruins (2009)

• Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey (2014)

• New Year's Eve (2011)

• Norbit (2007)

• Ocean's 12 (2004)

• Pain & Gain (2013)

• Palindromes (2004)

• Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009)

• Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (2003) / Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) / Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

• Pokemon: The First Movie (1999)

• Prime (2006)

• Rambo (2008)

• Revenge Of The Sexually Pathological Voyeur (2009)

• Revolver (2005)

• Run For Your Wife (2013)

• Santa Clause 3 (2006)

• Sex And The City (2008)

• Sex and the City 2 (2010)

• Sex Lives Of The Potato Men (2005)

• Silent Hill (2006)

• Song To Song (2017)

• Southland Tales (2007)

• St Trinian's (2007)

• Star Wars Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith (2005)

• Straightheads (2007)

• Sucker Punch (2011)

• Superbad (2007)

• Swept Away (2001)

• Terminator Saladnation (2009)

• The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

• Three And Out (2008)

• Transformers (2007) / Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (2009) / Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (2011) / Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014) (but not Transformers: The Movie (1986))

• 2012 (2009)

• Valentine's Day (2010)

• W.E. (2011)

• The Wedding Date (2005)

• We Don't Live Here Anymore (2005)

• Wolves At The Door (2017)

• Youth Without Youth (2007)

• Zidane (or Zidane: A 21st Century Portrait) (2006)

See Category:Rantables for a full list

On the plus side, these rants have on occasion proved to have healing properties. One listener put their recovery from a coma down to having the Angels and Demons rant played to them.

See also Everyone involved should be thoroughly ashamed